The great thing about ‘years of CBT. Working on myself ‘over the years…I have come this far. Now I get to enjoy all the hard work I did for myself… PS- No cock & ball torture involved…
I deleted all my blog posts. Symbolically deleting the words written down from thoughts that came to my mind at that moment in time. Those thoughts, feelings, and points of view no longer serve me…Gone! Do I see them as somehow wrong? No. Do I see my sub/Spanke side as separate? Yes. Should I aim to merge the two parts of myself? If there were two parts, then maybe ‘Yes…but…
Coming here brings up the unguided urge to write some negative thoughts. Because I realise…I no longer have any respect or trust in the spanking scene. Do I see anything wrong with this revelation of my sub-self? Nah! It is of no consequence to my life. Why am I back, blogging more, when I deleted everything I ever wrote & symbolically released it into the universe…Hm?
Well! I go to FetLife. I read lots of stuff. I look at all the wonderfully artistic images & I think to myself ‘What a wonderful life…No! That is a song which just popped into my mind…Where was I? Oh! Yeah!… There is so! many submissives who suffer from depression. Obviously, I have always noticed this. Since the beginning of my sub in the spanking scene life…
Depression. Low self-esteem. PTSD. Fibromyalgia…Can’t help but wonder if these things are connected in some way, but then there are probably an equal amount if not more submissives out there who do not have any serious mental, or emotional issues…& the connection? Is it, the cause, or a submissive mindset? I find this stuff quite fascinating & I do set myself apart…As in I am a submissive in play. My personality is neither submissive nor dominant. I am pretty laid back & unemotional. Unless I am riled & it takes a lot. Then I am scary. There is no trepidation where confrontation is concerned…
Though many who think they know me see meek, mild, timid…
Nuff said about that…Why am I here ‘Blogging all over again?
Well! I am incredibly interested in all things ‘Mind…It is an interest of mine. Probably because of my INFJ personality…
INFJ interests are inextricably bound to the bigger picture, while also reflecting individual leanings and general INFJ preferences, including the following:
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Low emphasis on competition (no losers)
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Loner-friendly or small-group-friendly activities
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Challenges that foster personal growth
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Benefits to someone or to a group they care about
Obviously, no one cares about my non-spanking interests & why should they? I don’t expect others to understand my leaning towards all things psychological…It could be misconstrued as creepy & weird…I am saying this in a light-hearted ‘The bigger picture ‘way. One thing people tend to misunderstand & get quite defensive about…Jeeze! Calm down, luv!
Soo! I’m here to blog all things mind. Like I always have done, but uninfluenced by others…Though. I have always done things uninfluenced by others. If I had done things under the influence of others, I’d be all outgoing & giving of attention, but I’m not. I am quiet, introverted, being me, minding my own…Yet the silent void is often filled with opinion. assumptions of others. Mind your own!
Here are INFJ interests…Interesting to my fellow INFJ-ers. Not so much to all the other 15 MB personalities {Confused? Try googling}
Writing and Journaling
Yep! Hence my love of blogging…
Reading Books
Yes! Of course. Doesn’t most people…
Drawing or Painting
Yes. I would like to get into creating my own kinky art…
Digital Art and Design
Hmm! Yes…I need to look more into this…
INFJs love a deep and meaningful one-on-one conversation, as well as one that stimulates their mind or challenges them in some way.
Having good talks is essential to an INFJ’s continued growth. It also gives them a chance to share what they’ve learned, so they can benefit others.
Dare I say it? I find typical, mainstream, conforming ‘clique types quite boring & mundane. All that small talk & fakeness…Ugh! Give me an independent, individual, who knows their own mind ‘Anytime. Most people are, it’s the group, clique mentality which puts me off & all the gossiping, ripping people apart ‘And attacking! Usually unprovoked which I tend to steer clear, avoid at all cost…Because it costs me my peace of mind…Not in a ‘black & white ‘Yin & yang way…Think ‘Bigger picture…
Soo! Where was I before I got distracted? Oh! Yeah!…Mind! Psychology! The law of attraction! The power of our own mind!… Note I said ‘Our!
An example of what I want to blog…
I was just on FetLife. Reading someone’s journal ‘writing about ‘Trust…I commented, which is something I aim to do more often…
I have been avoiding the old people from m past & finding new people on FetLife. Avoiding drama, cliques & the gossiping harpies…