Momma spanked me today.
I bet you’re not surprised but I sure was! I think momma took a class in spanking because she sure woulda gotten an “A” for this one. Anyway it was nap time here.
I hate naps worse than broccoli and green beans altogether! Momma always has me lie down for a while when we don’t have school.
She thinks naps are good for kids.
I think she just wants me out of her hair for a while.
Momma gave me and Lisa lunch and then she told us we were going to take a nap.
Li’l Miss Perfect , that’s my sister Lisa, just smiled at her and yawned.
I swear that girl does that stuff just to make me look bad! Lisa took her plates to the sink and then told momma she was real sleepy.
I just rolled my eyes and let out a big sigh.
Momma looked at me and asked me why I can’t just once take a nap without making a production out of it.
I told her that if I did everything she wanted she just might think another kid came to live here.
Momma smiled and told me to skedaddle! I gave her a kiss and then I stopped dead in my tracks.
I told her I had to clean up all my toys.
She told me I could do it when I woke up! I started to whine that I had to do it now but I figured that maybe she would do it when I was resting.
Notice I didn’t say sleeping! I never nap.
All I do is rest till Momma says we can come downstairs.
I started to go upstairs when I had an idea.
I tried not to giggle but Momma heard me laughing.
I told her I was thinking of a joke.
Momma fell for it just like she always does.
When I passed by Lisa’s room I did what I always do.
I pulled my eyelids down and stuck my thumbs up my nose.
Lisa screamed for momma and I ran into my room.
Momma came flying up the steps to see what was wrong.
Lisa told her I made a face at her.
Gosh, Lisa is such a girl!! Ewwww! How could anyone be that girly! Anyway after Momma calmed Lisa she came to my room.
She told me if I do that again I am getting a one-way ticket over her knee.
I asked her for a two-way ticket but all she did was get mad.
I sure don’t understand why she doesn’t think I’m funny! Heck, all the kids in school sure do.
Well, the teachers don’t but they’re grownups.
Ya know what I mean? Momma gave me a kiss and told me to have a nice nap.
Isn’t that stupid? Telling me to have a nice nap? I hate naps! How can I have a nice one? I decided to lay down and think about my plan.
Soon I heard momma go down the steps.
I decided to wait for a half hour and then the plan would go into action.
After I thought the half hour was up and I was sure Lisa was sleeping I got the stuff ready for my plan.
I found last year’s monster mask. I put on my monster gloves to make sure I was really scary.
I put all my stuff on when I heard Lisa snoring.
I snuck into her room and got under her bed.
She has this thing with disgusting ruffles hanging off her bed and it was perfect for me to hide under! I stayed really quiet and then I thumped her hard under the bed.
She moved around and then settled down again.
I thumped two times this time.
This time she let out a little noise and fell back to sleep.
I had to get more serious now! The plan was not working.
This time I thumped three times and just as she was getting ready to yell I put my arm out and grabbed her! She ran down the steps screaming.
I ran back into my room and climbed back under the covers.
Momma came up with her to show her it was just a dream.
Lisa got back in bed and Momma sat with her for a while.
She fell back to sleep.
When I was sure she was asleep again I snuck back in there.
I did the whole thing all over again.
Thump! Thump! Thump! Lisa screamed and this time she put her feet in the place where I had to get out of.
I knew I was dead meat! My monster hands were going a mile a minute trying to get out of there.
Lisa was really screaming now.
I kept trying to tell her it was me.
All she kept doing was screaming.
Momma flew up the steps to see what all the screaming was about.
I kept trying to get the monster stuff off but the space was so small I could barely move.
Then I did the dumbest thing.
I started to laugh.
I guess I was scared or something.
Momma sat on Lisa’s bed and held her till she stopped screaming and crying.
All the while she was yelling at me telling me I was getting the mother of all spankings.
I asked her if there was a father of all spankings but she didn’t think it was a bit funny.
I had myself cracking up but I think the timing was bad or something.
Momma dragged me out from under the bed.
She dragged me and my monster get-up to her room.
She grabbed a chair and held onto me.
Man, this was not a good sign! She sat on the chair.
I was trying not to cry but I knew she was going to skin me alive.
She put me over her knee and before you can say Rumpelstiltskin she was smacking my poor little butt!
Whack to the right!
Wham to the left!
Slam to the middle!
Bam to my sit spot!
She must have spanked me till her arm near about fell off! I was crying with all my heart.
That woman just kept on scolding me even after the spanking stopped.
I didn’t even feel her stop.
Soon she was rubbing my back and telling me to be a good girl.
I looked up at her and told her monsters can’t be good girls.
She started to spank again.
This time she said it was for being mouthy.
I started to cry again.
Momma let me stand up after a while.
She took that nasty mask off and wiped my face.
After she cleaned me up she told me I had corner time.
Now anyone that knows me knows I hate corner time.
Momma told me to skedaddle or get another licking.
I decided to do my prison time without complaining or that woman would definitely spank again.
So that’s why I am standing in this stupid old corner.